On 914s: A "driver" or a "concourse contender?"

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914PUTSCH
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It's another gray, overcast day here in Suckatomato (Californica's capitol city)...one of those days that are perfect for sitting outside at the local coffee house and contemplating various and sundry matters of absolutely no consequence whatsoever (mind-shifter set in 'Neutral' position) and little else. I've driven my '96 Hyundai Elantra Wagon "Mule" down here instead of 'Jezibel' (my 914), so the pup can come with me to claim her contractual entitlement of a fresh croissant).

Sitting there at my 'Stammgast' table at the VENUS (do not ask me why a coffeehouse is named 'VENUS!'), sucking up the battery-acid strength espresso, I recalled that yesterday, I spent some time trolling the various online venues (such as BaT, Haggerty's, etc.) in search of interesting 914 specimens. Not particularly because I'm looking to add another one to my stable but simply to fuel my interest in what's currently available out there, both quality and price-wise, and pass a few otherwise uncommitted moments.

This found me pondering the relative merits of two distinct types of Porsche people that abound today: those who desire purely a drivable car to have fun with and those who want the finest, best-preserved specimen they can possibly find. As a former long-time VW enthusiast and history-minded individual (my degrees are in history), I've always favored the 'Drive 'em, don't hide 'em' philosophy over that of sequestering Porsches like the Hope Diamond as 'collectibles.' And while I certainly CAN afford 'drivers', I can't, with equal certainly, afford the utterly best specimens available out there.

Of course, this entire paradigmic hypothesis is inextricably linked to one's economic wherewithal. If you have gobs of disposable income, there's nothing wrong with indulging in a rich person's predilections. If, on the other hand, you are retired and just a short distance removed from a 6x3 foot pine box, you must needs be a bit more circumspect in balancing 'wants and needs' (or so wifie, who is frugal like her Chinese ancestors, who reportedly invented copper wire by pinching pennies) tells me.

Unfortunately, it's all I can now do to have bought my single 914-4 (Jezibel) and modestly interact with it. And so I must settle for merely admiring all the beautiful examples of the 914 that surface now and then.

E.F. Schumacher, the German-born English economist who wrote his definitive "Small is Beautiful" essay in the early 70s, and who was very much in sync with the ancient Asian custom of hewing to 'the middle way', was keen to advocate curtailing needless excesses of any kind in our lifestyle; biographies of him provide much evidence of his keen interest in generalised Buddhist theology, as a matter of fact. As such, he advocated that our American economic model actually contradicts the best interests of maintaining and preserving of our natural world and its resources by discouraging any practice of moderation in material consumption within our society. We, as good little Americans, are and have always been relentlessly socialised to 'consume, consume, consume', with absolutely no pause to reflect on what will "adequately" meet our needs versus what exists far in excess of those nominal requirements for us to lead a happy, fulfilled life. Ancient Greece similarly found a similar expression in Aristotle's famous 'Golden Mean', as any traditionally well-educated student is aware.

Thus, we Americans are, as a society, ensnared in a quagmire of endless, unlimited collective desire for things and ever more things. In my case (and in many others), for more of my favorite toys...specifically Porsche 914s. Understandably and despite my life-long efforts to resist such social and economic prompting to consume (as the SNL 'Coneheads' did) mass quantities, I still fall prey to stabs of lust when I run across another near-perfect 914 that the little red devil perched on my shoulder tells me I MUST have! And like a child in a candy shop, I pay more attention to that little voice of temptation than I properly ought. Lacking the sort of steely discipline that something like getting through Harvard Law's demanding curriculum required (back when Harvard was still unaffected by the leftist ideological cant that today taints it), I have never been noted for strong self-constraint.

Coming to grips with the question we should all be asking ourselves (namely, "How much is enough?") is admittedly a constant battle we are (or should be) all challenged to fight, but it ought still to be at the top of any personal check list for serious rumination, in my opinion. Using my personal circumstances as an appropriate citation, rigidly limiting myself to merely lusting after beautiful 914 specimens has been an economic necessity and the strictures of such self-censure have come rather late to me.

Hence I am where I am today: forcing myself to be practical and settle for a nice little 914 that, while not nearly perfect, is perfect enough for my purposes to provide me with all the driving pleasure and enjoyment I need. As much as I'd like to add a beautiful Cayman to the stable, I am wise enough to understand all the hidden costs and expenses that lurk, like the hidden bulk of a huge iceberg, just below the surface of the deceptively calm water surrounding it and spare myself the grief (real or imagined) that owning a "used but excellent" Cayman specimen will entail.

Again, "moderation" is the key concept at play here. It's just ironic that it's taken me a whole lifetime to come to grips with and best my never-ending, wildly irrational urges and impulses to acquire more stuff... Isn't it ironic that insight, deeper understanding and real wisdom is only bought with time and experience...both assets that, like a healthy bank account, typically only come with self-discipline and age? By the time the moment comes to take a ride in the Grim Reaper's personal Porsche 550 Spyder, it's usually far too late to benefit from most of all that painfully, arduously acquired wisdom of a lifetime!

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Last edited by 914PUTSCH on Thu Apr 17, 2025 2:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor." -Wernher von Braun (B.1912-D.1977, rocket scientist)

Six previous 914-4s
One superb 914-6

#1

WillyDaP
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As I rip the air with my flattened hand over my bald head, I realize many of us may have just read your thought provoking treatise with an appreciation of your often wry sense of humor , while not having the faintest friggin notice if we fully understood half of it. I get a kick out of an erudite " WordSmith," even when I only grasp a sentence here or there , but after sitting in a lotus position and repeating my mantra three times I decided that I might have to address one issue of your very fun and entertaining short story. Since I too have a tendency to ramble, though with less expertise and tinier terms, I will say there might be a third car fanatic in you who realizes that spending some extra rubles to get a Cayman, for example, comes down to simply realizing that the GrimReaper in his 959 ( my vision ) will not be using our iPhones to text us when he plans on arriving, so why not take that little jump and grab a Cayman allowing her to co-exist with her lovely ancestor. New is not necessary and there are many great examples of well taken care of 718 and 987 Mistresses, said frugality is noteworthy but you have practiced it with noticeable aplomb, so now may be the time to get your big toe back in the H20!

Wow, I am so impressed with myself that I kept it down to just these few words, but I fell into the mood of your logical writ on practicality, which I feel I practice to a degree also, so I needed to be semi precise and not go on and on.............

So Sensei of the Scripts, you are the Master and I am only an unworthy student, keep making folks use those little cells crammed in their skull to think, it has become a lost art and a little fire to re-ignite is welcomed by quite a few of us.
Last edited by WillyDaP on Sat Apr 19, 2025 7:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
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#2

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914PUTSCH
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Hiya Willy and thanx for the gracious words. In all actuality, my English profs used to pan me unmercifully for my tendency towards flowery circumlocuity, since my 'product' is a painfully evident example of that bane of truly effective and impactful, GOOD writing: KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID. However, I seem to enjoy word slinging and whenever there's a chance to use 200 words to say what could most efficaciously be said with 25 well chosen ones, I succumb to temptation yet again! My Jezibel hates all the wordy verbosity it is subjected to when we have a confab in the garage but like my willful pup, she allows me my excesses as a tacit acknowledgement of my having made a good home for her in my stable. Tom, our moderator, has mentioned in the STUTTGART LETTER the fact that some people develop a strongly empathetic (if somewhat indescribable) bond with their wheeled machines. I am certainly one such weirdo but I bear the cross of extreme eccentricity as well as anyone could, I guess. Most do so silently...I sadly get an attack of oral diarrhea just thinking about such afflictions.

As for the Cayman and toeing the watermark, yeah, you speak good counsel, Kemosabe. Only problem is that I lack the Rasbuckniks to indulge a whim of that sort, so unless I win a new Cayman S in the PCA lottery, or Uncle Aloysius kindly leaves me one in his will, as one of the last pretenders to the ancient throne of the Duchy of Carniola, there's little hope that Jez will have a gorgeous 981.1 stablemate anytime soon, alas alack!

PS: If it's any comfort, I often find myself going over what I've just written and wonder what in friggin' Hades I just said! No worries there, however, 'cause I think I see a couple of muscular lads in white coats with a stretcher, standing just outside our front door as I speak...! :wtf:
"Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor." -Wernher von Braun (B.1912-D.1977, rocket scientist)

Six previous 914-4s
One superb 914-6

#3

WillyDaP
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Yes, Herr Putschi, I too meander back to what I have scribbled only to realize my punctuation sucked or the concept I meant to convey was thwarted by the Spellcheck Siren singing her song of malapropism causing confusion for all. So, I, like you, would like to thank the Fantastical Tom for allowing a wondrous " Edit " button so I could go back and make corrections to my brambles of rambles.

Keep posting your wandering words, and references, as there are quite a few olde Porsche Hotshoes and Loafers here , so not unlike " Jeopardy " you are helping many of us keeping our minds sharp - though likely it means flipping the pages of the dictionary for a couple of hours!

PS - Thanks again for the " Edit Button " Tom, as I had to come back and fix one complete sentence. Spellcheck plugged in a word that made no sense at all and I could not remember what it was supposed to say. I will be taking my Prevagen tonight for sure.
Last edited by WillyDaP on Sat Apr 19, 2025 4:22 pm, edited 2 times in total.
2024 Chalk Cayman GTS
2020 White Macan S
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2022 Silver Ram W1500 Laramie CrewCab
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#4

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914PUTSCH
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Yepper! Anyone who casually tosses a few literary terms like "Malapropism" into a conversation has got to be my kind of literary provocateur! That EDIT button you referenced is indeed a wonderful thing, since as an Obsessive/Compulsive 1st Class, I would be absolutely dead in the water w/o the ability to go back and make corrections. I'm so bad that I even proof-read bestseller books reflexively as I am reading them and even catch myself mentally revising selections from said books concurrent w/the perusal. Consequently, it takes me somewhat longer to plough (especially 'Starry Plough' types) through my books that it would otherwise, but I manage to wring every last tiny drop of expression and imagery from them in the doing. It's a bit arduous when said books exceed 500 pages or more, but I even found myself doing this to Joyce's ULYSSES (yeah, I know...I'm SICK!). Next, maybe Proust? Who knows! :lol:

By the way, for any former military in our Porsche audience, there's a neat graphics service on line that makes custom-vinyl decals (ZAPs and stickers) to order. I'm an old USAFer (always somewhat regretted not having gone Naval Air, since I have a VERY healthy respect for our USN Nasal Radiator 'brownshoes'). As it was, I coped daily with aerospace medicine challenges at Minot AFB (NoDak) in ADC of the mid-60s. "We" flew Convair F-106s in 5th Fighter (5 FIS) there and owing to being on flying status, I got to catch backseat rides in Sixes whenever a two-seater 'B' model was set to sortie. My 'FUN METER' was pegged to the max at such times, needless to say.

The images below show some of owner Nate's FEGRAPHICS.COM handiwork on the rear window of 'Jezibel.' I'm hoping it doesn't appear too tacky, given the high nasal angle of attack of many P-car people, but hell, as a mild-mannered former 'wannabe' Six pilot in 5th FIS who is thrilled enough with a simple 914-4, I figure I can bask in the Six's glory just a tad, in my dotage.

[FEGRAPHICS owner Nate is, by the way a retired (and disabled) USAF Master Sergeant with over 5000 hours as a refueling specialist. FEGRAPHICS is his new 'retired' career and he's a great fellow, whose graphic art is first-rate.]
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"Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor." -Wernher von Braun (B.1912-D.1977, rocket scientist)

Six previous 914-4s
One superb 914-6

#5

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